Wednesday, April 18, 2012

How clean is your cup?

 So my heart has been  heavy lately.. heavy with seeing people  hurting from sin.. Either they have been caught in a stronghold of sin that is hard to get out of OR someone close to them has fallen and they just have to deal with the consequences of this persons actions.. 
Things like this always leads me to look at my own heart and I see that I am not far from being pulled in a direction away from Jesus.. My Savior.. My Rescuer..
Small things that pull me away from Jesus like..  you  need to work on your health.. exercise.. education.. need to have down time for yourself... All these things that are good things.. but things that satan uses to distract me and get my focus off what LIFE IS ABOUT..
So what is life truly about? HOW should i live each day?
Loving the LORD God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and loving my neighbor as myself..!
 Woo..  sometimes I think oh I can love God..I am so thankful for all He has done for me.. but love that person.. I don't have time.. I have a family that keeps me VERY BUSY..  and we are out of town so often that when I am home I want to spend with those that I feel comfortable with.. those who are in my safe zone..
 So life goes on and what am I doing? living for God?
 I tend to forget that I am human and go think that person has some work.. they need to fix that..
but me..  Oh.. My God clean me inside out.. FOR I AM SO VAIN..
 I want to be fit.. I want to be thin.. I want to be pretty.. I want .. I want.. Me .. me.. me.. I  need my sleep.. I need my time.. I need my space.. I I I I I I...
 and their just like that Satan has me without me even getting caught up in a big sin..
 Wouldn't you say this is the scariest type of sin..
 the little sins that set us up for the big kill..
Am I looking to serve my neighbor? TO love them more than myself? OR do I use others to make myself feel better? That person in your life that drives you crazy, have you been looking for ways to love them MORE than loving yourself? Your spouse? children? parents? people you work with? Sometimes we tend to love people because of what they do for us.. BUT IS THAT WHAT GOD Calls us to do?
 I am a vain very vain person..
 I am a weak person.. a person who loves pleasure more than God..
 I allow the things of this world to distract me.. I allow people's opinions of me to keep me from speaking truth..
 If you are reading this and hang out with me and I don't talk about God.. Shame on me... FOR God tells me to share the Good news to all.. and if I don't share with you.. I care more for my own comfort than making sure you  know you have a Savior..!
 I have always always wanted to be a missionary or in ministry.. THAT was what I would tell people when I was a kid.. and then I got married and had children and used the excuse that my husband was not called into ministry so I am not either..
God calls ALL to obey His commands... and this is something I have not done.. loving my neighbor as myself.. those unlovable people.. those who are different than me..  hmmm.. forgive me God.. for I have sinned...

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