Wednesday, October 23, 2013

My journey

Today my home was filled with tears and crying and disappointment.. Sam still gets up often in the night and last night was not the best of nights, I went to bed at 10 hoping to sleep for a few minutes before being up again and again, but as my eyes were getting heavy I can hear him fussing, so I try hard to not sleep until I know which way its going to turn, and well it turned into I am awake.. So to make a long story short I got a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.. surprisingly its normal up until my kids turn 1 year old.
  I am exhausted and yet its 9:15pm and I dread the fact that my night shift is about to begin. a normal person would try to get sleep but me, no I need some time awake without children, doing whatever.. if its just getting life situated for tomorrow or writing on my blog, reading, house plans.. cleaning.. I really don't care I just want it to be quiet and allow my brain to not be over stimulated for at least an hour.
Today the battle was with tutu's and nap time.. anyone can make babies and be a parent.. and you know those who choose to stay home with there babes can choose to engage or NOT to engage..
 today was a day I really did not want to engage. I really wanted to let it be an easy day..
but its never easy when you are trying to teach your children to share, to be kind, to wash your hands, to stop hitting your sister, potty training, always having on your mind and being on the look out for your child finding a corner to poop in, to teach them about what love is and SHOW them what love is, to teach them how to communicate instead of using hands to hit, to not throw a fit when something does not go our way and set the example in all of this, to look into your child's eye when they are telling you a story or showing you  how they dance for the billionth time.. to form a relationship with your child, teaching them about putting others first..
 every battle we face is an opportunity to teach your children on how to respond, how to react, how to find a solution.
And that's about it, my eyes are feeling heavy and I know I need as much sleep as I will be blessed with tonight if its 2 or hopefully 5!

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